Free on iTunes: The Best Seven Minutes in American Idol History


We'll get to the free singles in a moment, people. First I have to talk about American Idol.

I am so over American Idol. Seriously. Not even the bad auditions really thrill me anymore. But with the writer's strike going on, there hasn't really been anything else on television to come home and relax to after hours at my soul-sucking job.

So I've watched this season. And boy am I glad that I did. It was all worth it - to bear witness to one amazing little man named "Renaldo Lapuz".

Renaldo starts off looking like any crazy asian guy in a costume. Little do we know, he has two secret weapons: an unrelenting charm, and a hit song called "We're Brothers Forever".

The clip starts off when Paula asks Renaldo why he has Simon's name written on his hat. His response, "Everyone, everywhere, as long as there is free media: television, radio, speaks the name of: Simon!" Wow. If that isn't epic praise, I don't know what is. Simon as a symbol of the free world is imagery I'd never quite considered. But it gets better.

Then Renaldo launches into his song, thus bringing hope to those in despairs [sic]. The lyrics?

"I am your brother

Your best friend forever

Singing the songs,
The music that you like. OH!!!!!!
We're brothers to the end of time
Together or not,
You're always in my heart
You hurt your feelings
And you will rain no more!"
(spoken) I love you brother!

Renaldo sings the song like seventeen times, and something magical and crazy happens with the judges. Even Simon can't help but sing along for a few bars. Randy grabs Seacrest to come in and dance with Renaldo as he sings.

Paula can't seem to stand that the attention has been off of her for so long, and completely loses it and starts doing sign language over the song followed by a weird "Cold-Hearted Snake" dance right in front of Renaldo. Simon can't help but smile, for once.

Renaldo's speech at the end nearly made me cry, right up until he said that Simon gives chances to any talents for free of charge. Where is this guy from that he's obsessed with free media and free auditions, but speaks (nearly) flawless English? Wherever he's from, he sure knows how to rock that silver cape.

I've gone on far too long about this. You should just download it and watch it three hundred times like I did. Then swoop around your house shrieking "I AM YOUR BRO-OH-THER until your boyfriend smothers you with a pillow.

Get Renaldo Lapuz's "We are Brothers" for free on iTunes this week.

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